


Updated Collection of Works

by BSBLover2538



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:47:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26570890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BSBLover2538/pseuds/BSBLover2538
Summary: This is 6 fics that I've written, and need to get up. They are all T rated with two G rated fics.
Relationships: Brian Littrell/Howie Dorough/Nick Carter, Brian Littrell/Leighanne Littrell, Howie Dorough/Brian Littrell, Howie Dorough/Original Female Character, Kevin Richardson/Kristin Richardson, Nick Carter/Brian Littrell
Kudos: 5





	1. Forever

Brian slammed his hand against the wall, muttering to himself. It was six months after Kevin had left the group, and the four of them were trying to get the vocals down for a couple of songs they had chosen for the new album. Brian knew they had made some progress, but the songs were definitely different than what they usually did, and it was awkward only having to assign four parts, instead of the usual five. 

“Bri? You okay love?” Howie creeped up on his boyfriend of three years, having an idea of what was going through his head. 

“I’ll be fine, I just need to nail this song. It’s challenging me for some reason, and I need to get it perfect” Brian turned, looking at his love, a strained smile on his face. 

“Okay, if you say so” the older man knew not to push the blonde, not wanting Brian to fly off the handle again. 

Brian shooed his boyfriend away, and Howie reluctantly left the booth, going out to the main area, sitting down with their producers. It wasn’t a day where Nick and AJ were needed, so god only knows what those two were doing. Howie wasn’t even really needed, but he came to support his boyfriend. 

The next hour was painful, for both Brian and the producers, along with Howie. The blonde wasn’t sure why he couldn’t nail this particular song, it was like his voice gave out when he went to hit the higher note on it. Frustrated, Brian stormed out of the booth, and right past the producers and Howie. 

“Guys, can we come back tomorrow?” Howie looked at the two, who nodded wordlessly. Howie gave a half smile and gathered their stuff, running after Brian. 

As he opened the door to go outside, his heart broke. Brian was leaning against their car, his head in his hands, and Howie could tell he was trying to wipe the tears away. Howie walked right to him, and pulled him into his arms. 

“Come on, let’s get home” Howie murmured as he opened the passenger side door a few minutes later. Brian nodded into his shoulder and pulled away, getting in. Howie walked around to the driver’s side and got in. After putting his seatbelt on, and getting the car in motion, he used his free hand to take Brian’s, squeezing it gently. 

The drive home was silent, except for Howie calling for delivery of Brian and his favorite pizza. Brian gave his hand a meaningful squeeze and Howie smiled. He knew how to make his boyfriend feel better. 

“Let’s get in, the pizza should be here in 20” the older man looked over and Brian sighed. Throwing the door open, he made his way into their first floor apartment. Howie trailed after him, and saw Brian going directly for the fridge. Grabbing two beers, he plopped down next to Howie and cracked both open. 

“I hope one of those is for me?” Howie joked, and Brian shot him a look, giving him one of the bottles. The two clinked the necks, taking long dredges before sighing. 

“What’s wrong babe?” Howie broached the topic, and Brian groaned, running his hand through his hair, blowing out an air of frustration. 

“My voice is acting up, I miss Kevin, I am not sure about the direction of this album, and it just feels like we are moving at the speed of light. Two days after Kev left we were back in the studio. I feel like I can’t catch my breath” Brian replied. 

Howie didn’t speak for a minute or two, he had had a feeling that Brian was struggling, and he had tried to help as best he could. 

“I understand Bri, I miss Kevin as well, and it sure does feel like we’ve been non-stop. I think it will be like that the entire time Kev is gone. It keeps us occupied, and not wallowing so much in the sadness of missing him. But if we talk to Nick and AJ, I’m sure we can figure something out to where we get some more long weekends to ourselves, and we probably won’t finish this album until next year” Howie soothed the younger man. 

“I know. It just feels like a lot right now. I need to figure out what is going on with my voice. You may have to take the higher parts babe, I can’t seem to do it anymore” Brian clenched his fists as he said that, and Howie laid his hand over Brian’s. 

“You don’t know that love, let’s see what happens” Howie chided, just as the doorbell rang. He got up and grabbed his wallet from his back pocket. Paying the delivery driver, he took the pizza and closed the door. Brian had gotten up to get paper plates and napkins. Howie dropped the box onto the coffee table, and both plopped back down on the couch. 

The two ate, Brian flipping on the sports channel. Howie rolled his eyes, but knew it helped calm his boyfriend down. After downing three slices each, the two sat back and Howie grabbed Brian’s hand, holding it loosely. 

“Love you” he whispered, rubbing his thumb over the back of his hand. 

“Love you too my goof” Brian grinned, and Howie chuckled softly. 

“You okay?” 

“I will be. Just keep being there, and it will all be okay” Brian looked over, and Howie nodded vigorously. 

“Of course I will, I’ll be here for as long as you have me” Howie replied. 

“Forever” Brian intensely spoke, and Howie beamed. 

“Forever” 


	2. Crawling Back To You

The house looked ominous, even in the daylight. Kevin stared at the front door, his jaw set. He knew what he had to do, but he wasn’t sure if Kristin would accept what he had to say. His hands were tightly wrapped around the steering wheel, his gut in knots. Taking a deep breath, he thought back to what had happened six weeks ago. 

“Fuck!” Kevin panted as he let go into the woman below him. It had been a long tour of Europe, and the dark haired man was tired of using his hand. He had gone out to a club, and seduced a woman. 

“You are amazing, maybe we can do this a second time?” the woman suggested, and Kevin looked down into her eyes. He swallowed harshly and realized what he had just done. Pulling away, he shook his head. 

“I’m leaving next week. Thanks though” Kevin got up and got dressed, leaving the woman behind. Making his way back to his own hotel room, he put his head in his hands. He had cheated on his girlfriend, who was back in Kansas City, waiting for him to come home. 

“What have I done?” Kevin whispered. 

Shaking his head, the young man pulled himself out of that memory. The next one to come was when he told Kristin what he had done. He shuddered, remembering what she had said to him after she had got done screaming at him. 

“Kris, I’m sorry” he had said. 

“Sorry doesn’t help Kevin. You threw away 6 years of a relationship for some slut. Makes me wonder if you were faithful this entire time” Kristin whispered, and Kevin stepped back like he had been punched. She stormed to the door, and wrenched it open, walking out of Kevin’s life. 

Swallowing the bile in his throat, Kevin got out of the car. He took a deep breath and walked up to the door of Kristin’s home. He knew that she was home, and Kevin ran a shaky hand through his ragged hair. 

Knocking on the door, he shifted from foot to foot as he waited for her to answer the door. Drawing in a deep breath, he blew it out as the door opened a crack. Kristin peeked out, her heart dropping at the visual of Kevin at the door. She pried the door open more, and leaned against the jamb. 

“Yes Kevin?” she asked, eyeing him with a little distaste. 

“Can I come in?” 

“No. You lost that right when you cheated on me. Whatever you want to say, can be said out here. Now, what do you want?” Kristin folded her arms, looking at him. 

Kevin swallowed, and went to his knees. Thankfully Kristin lived on a quiet street and there were no neighbors around to see him. 

“Please Kristin. I am so damn sorry for what I did. I was stupid and immature. I threw away 6 years of an amazing relationship in one night. I am so disgusted and ashamed of myself. I’m sorry” Kevin begged, and Kristin raised an eyebrow. 

“I’m hearing a lot of “I” in that supposed apology. You did all of those things, and you hurt me deeply. Why should I take you back? Give me one good reason Kevin” Kristin glared down at the kneeling man. 

“I swear I will never do it again. Anything, I’ll do anything to prove that to you” Kevin replied, and Kristin rolled her eyes. 

“Yeah, you say that now. What happens three months after I take you back? What then Kevin?” Kristin shook her head, and started to close the door. Kevin whimpered, starting to get up off his knees. 

“What if we go back to where we were in the beginning? Take it slow? I promise to be more open, and call you more often when I am overseas. We can work on us, please Kristin” Kevin spoke rapidly before she shut the door completely. 

Kristin stopped, looking at her ex. She still had a lot of love for him, but it was clouded in the hurt he had caused her. She didn’t trust him to go overseas again with the guys. Kristin bit her lip and looked at Kevin. 

“Go home Kev, call me tonight. We can talk more then. That’s all I am willing to do right now” Kristin spoke, before shutting the door. Kevin closed his eyes, and sighed. He turned to go back to his car, wondering if what he had said helped or hurt. Getting in his car, he drove home, a tiny shred of hope in his heart. 

Eighteen months later, Kristin was looking at her engagement ring. She had forgiven Kevin a month after the incident on her front porch, and they took things slow for a bit, before they both fell hard again. Kevin had been way more open, and had called Kristin each night when he went back overseas. Kristin knew that her fiance would stay faithful, because the threat of losing Kristin completely, kept Kevin from doing the unthinkable once again. He also had realized how much he deeply loved his soon to be wife. Now, both were looking forward to their wedding, and where Kevin’s career would take them. 


	3. And Then There Were Four

“Nickolas Gene!” 

Nick grinned as he heard his oldest husband’s voice, and he sauntered over to the bedroom to see Howie glaring at the pile of clothes on the bed. He had left them on the bed after pulling the laundry out of the dryer, forgetting to fold and put them away. He poked his head into the bedroom. 

“Yes Howard?” he asked, and Howie whipped around, glaring at the younger blonde. 

“What is this?” 

“I didn’t know your vision was failing my loving husband, it’s a pile of clean laundry” Nick snickered, and Howie growled lowly. 

“I know that Nickolas, why is it still in a heap on the bed? You know I hate having wrinkly clothes, especially for work” Howie started pulling the pile apart, pulling his clothes out. Nick came out from the hallway, and rubbed his stomach as he walked over to Howie. 

“I am sorry Howie, I had to run to the bathroom to puke, and I forgot. This morning sickness has been a bitch and a half” Howie’s eyes softened, and he put the pair of jeans he was folding down. His hand went to Nick’s belly, rubbing it softly. 

“It’s okay, I understand. Just let Brian or I know next time, and we will take care of it. Did you hurt yourself getting the laundry out?” Nick shook his head, and leaned over, kissing his husband softly. 

“I can still do chores. I am not that pregnant Howie” Nick protested, and Howie nodded absently. 

“But you are carrying multiples love, you need to be careful” Nick rolled his eyes. He was barely four months pregnant, and Brian and Howie were driving him insane. It wasn’t his fault he naturally had conceived multiples. He blamed that on his husbands’ super sperm. 

“Who are you thinking the other father is?”

“Honestly, Brian. I think you two fucked close to the conception date. But I can’t accurately rule myself out either. It doesn’t matter anyway. That’s my sons or daughters in there. Baby Carters” Brian and Howie had taken Nick’s name when they married, both having brothers to carry on their last names. 

“Yes, if they would stop making me puke daily, I’d be happy” Nick grumbled, and Howie sighed softly. His husband had been diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidum early in the pregnancy and he had been puking daily since. It was a struggle to keep Nick’s weight up, but Howie and Brian were feeding him almost hourly. 

“Nick! Howie!” the third part to their triad called out, and Nick grinned. Howie rolled his eyes and waved him off. Nick carefully walked downstairs, greeting his blonde husband happily. 

“Hi Brian, how was work?” Nick bent down to kiss the blonde, and Brian smiled around the kiss. 

“It was good. Happy to be home with both my husbands now though. Where’s Howie?” 

“In the bedroom. I’m gonna go make dinner. Go get settled” Nick went off to the kitchen, and Brian took the stairs two at a time to get to the master bedroom. He walked in to see Howie folding the rest of the laundry, and he quickly went over to help his older husband out. 

“What happened?” he asked, seeing Howie’s expression. The brown eyed man sighed and explained what had happened, and Brian sighed softly. Their youngest husband was being his usual stubborn self, and they knew they had to get him to slow down soon. 

“If he doesn’t slow in the next couple of weeks, the doc isn’t going to be happy. His cervix is already shorter than it should be. If it goes even shorter, Dr. Martinez is going to put him on bedrest. You know as well as I do how much Nick will love that” Brian shuddered and nodded. 

“I just hope that he listens soon. I know we were all against selectively reducing the babies, but Nick knows how many are in there. He knows that he needs to listen to his body. Nick is 17 weeks pregnant. If he gets to 30, I’ll be amazed. We have about 3 more months to prepare, and get Nick to keep those babies in” Brian rubbed his temples, and Howie hung up the last of the laundry. 

“Get that through his head and I’ll be happy. I’m going to go help him with making dinner. Try and relax, and we will call you when it’s done” Brian nodded as Howie went back downstairs. 

The three of them had a lovely dinner, and all relaxed on the couch afterwards. The babies had started moving in Nick’s belly, and Howie and Brian spent every night with their hands on Nick’s bare belly, feeling and watching the limbs moving across his belly. 

“There’s a foot” Brian whispered, and Nick groaned as a baby hit his bladder. 

“And that’s my pee check. Need to hit the bathroom again” he grunted as he hiked himself up again. Howie and Brian kept eyes on him as he made his way to the hall bathroom. The two looked at each other and groaned. Brian thought back to when Nick had told him and Howie that they were finally pregnant. 

The three had been trying to get pregnant for more than six months when Nick had taken the pregnancy test 15 weeks ago. He couldn’t believe that he was actually pregnant, and promptly went out to buy five more. An hour later, he was staring at six positive tests. He swore and immediately went into scheming mode. 

“Something is off” Howie said a couple hours later as he and Brian got home from work. Nick usually always greeted them at the door, and he was nowhere to be found. Brian and Howie looked in every room on the first floor, not finding their husband. 

“Nick?” Brian called, and the two breathed a sigh of relief hearing a noise from the upper floor. They ascended the stairs, and noticed a Post-It note on their bedroom door. Howie took it and read it, rolling his eyes. 

“He is sending us on a scavenger hunt. I hate scavenger hunts” Howie whined, and Brian chuckled, shaking his head. 

“Come on, I’ll help you” 

After a dozen clues, the duo were on their final one. They went into their master bedroom to see Nick sitting on the bed, with a bag in front of him. 

“Okay, what’s going on?” Brian asked, and Nick held the bag out to him and Howie. The older man took it, opening it. His hand hit something wrapped in tissue paper, and he pulled it out. 

“Unwrap it” 

Howie nodded, and gingerly did, unwrapping a piece of clothing. He unfurled it to show a onesie saying “I Love My Daddies!”. Brian and Howie, both with tears in their eyes, looked at Nick, who simply nodded, holding out the six pregnancy tests. The two older men gently got their husband up, and hugged him tightly. 

Brian shook his head and smiled softly to himself. Nick came back in, and whined that he was horny. Howie rolled his eyes, sighing audibly. This had been a recent thing, and Nick was insatiable. 

“Come on, let’s go to bed, and I’ll care for you” the three men moved to their bedroom, and both Howie and Brian cared for their pregnant husband, leaving Nick satisfied. 

The next few weeks started dragging by, and Nick ended up on bedrest, which gave Brian and Howie more grey hairs than their children would. The two of them worked on the nursery, both of their families throwing Nick a huge baby shower. Nick was getting larger by the day, and uncomfortable to boot. He rubbed his massive belly, and called for Brian. 

“What’s up Nick?” the three had temporarily moved downstairs to the bedroom down there to make it easier for all of them. 

“I need to go to the bathroom. Baby A keeps kicking my bladder, using it as a soccer ball” he sighed frustratedly, and Brian walked over, getting him up. 

“It’s okay Nicky, let’s go” Brian smiled, and ten minutes later, got Nick settled back in bed. He rubbed his husband’s belly, and whispered softly. 

“Settle down little ones, Daddy needs sleep” Nick teared up hearing his husband, and sniffed loudly. 

“Damn hormones” he yawned, and Brian kept rubbing, feeling his children calming. 

Nick was now 24 weeks pregnant, and the babies were at the point that they could be saved if he delivered. The doctors were hoping for another six weeks, but Nick wasn’t sure if he could make it. He knew that at the next appointment he would be going on hospital bedrest for better monitoring. His HG had eased a bit, but he was still nauseous most of the day, puking at least once a day. Howie and Brian had already brought him to the ER for fluids at least four times. 

“What are you two going to do with me in the hospital starting tomorrow?” Nick asked as the three laid in bed, he in the middle of them. Howie and Brian looked at each other. 

“We are both going to work 9-5 at our jobs on opposite days. When you got pregnant and we had the first ultrasound, the two of us went to our bosses and they were more than understanding. There will be one of us with you all day, every day at the hospital. When we get off work, we will both be at the hospital until visiting hours end. The only day you will have the two of us all day is on Sundays after church” Brian said softly, rubbing Nick’s belly. 

“Thanks guys. This is gonna suck, but I know that Howie’s sister and the brothers will help get the nursery finished. I know it is nearly done now. I hate this, but I know it’s best for the babies” Nick sighed, kissing both Howie and Brian softly. The three settled down for bed, Howie and Brian knowing it would be just the two of them for the foreseeable future. 

The three of them headed for Nick’s 25 week appointment, and his doctor shook her head. His cervix was now shorter than before and the babies needed closer monitoring. 

“Nick, I’m sending you to the hospital today. I will call them now and they will have a room for you. The babies are doing good, but I am concerned about your cervix. I need you in the hospital. I want you to last another five weeks at least” Dr. Martinez looked at the three men, who all nodded. 

“We kinda knew that Doc, and we have Nick’s bags with us. Can we grab a quick meal and head over?” Howie asked, and Dr. Martinez nodded. 

“Yes, but I want him in the hospital checking in in 90 minutes” 

The three men got a meal together, that wasn’t hospital food, for the last time pre-baby. Nick sighed as they walked into the hospital, and up to the Parent/Baby Unit. He met with the nurses, and got settled in his room. Brian and Howie got his things unpacked, and sat holding his hand as Nick got the monitors and IV inserted. 

“Hopefully I last another five weeks, and the babies continue to be okay” he laid his head against the pillow and rubbed his face. He was already hating the hospital and it had only been 2 hours. 

“They will be Nicky, they are Carters. That means they are fighters, just like their Daddy, Papa, and Da” Howie rubbed Nick’s leg soothingly. He nodded and the three men settled in, all three hoping that this would help Nick out. 

Over the next four weeks, Nick barely made it through hospital bedrest. He loved having one of his loves every day, but the nights were the hardest. Howie and Brian also struggled at night, since Nick slept between them and they clung to him in their sleep. The three men knew it would be worth it in the end. 

“Fuck!” Nick cried out, holding his massive belly. It was Brian’s day to visit, and the two had been talking about football which was due to start soon. Brian reached over for the call button, looking at his husband fearfully. A nurse ran in, and looked at the monitors. 

“He’s contracting. Call Howie, get him here. We need to get the babies out. It’s time” she spoke quickly, running out to get a doctor. A minute later, the doctor said the same thing, and Brian nodded. He grabbed his cell phone, hitting the speed dial. 

“Howie, get your ass here. Nick’s contracting and the babies are coming. They are taking him in 45 minutes” Brian barked, and Howie immediately said he was leaving at that moment. They hung up, and Brian took Nick’s hand in his. He saw the fear on his younger husband’s face. 

“Baby, we made it to a day before 30 weeks. The babies are all a good weight, and there are no genetic issues at all. I have all the faith in the world that they will be okay. They will just be small and need to grow” Nick nodded and Brian tried to make himself believe the words he was saying himself. The three knew the odds for their children, and getting to 30 weeks was the major goal. 

Howie made it to the hospital twenty minutes later, and he and Brian got their scrubs on so they could be in the OR with Nick. It had taken a bit of pleading, but both were eventually allowed to go in with their husband. Nick was prepped for the surgery, and wheeled into the OR. After getting the spinal, Howie and Brian were allowed in. 

“We are right here baby. The babies are coming soon” Howie kissed Nick’s forehead through his mask, and Nick smiled weakly. 

“Baby A is coming” Dr. Martinez announced, and soon they all heard a tiny cry. Two tears escaped from all three men. 

“We have a boy!” she said, and Nick grinned. 

“Baby B is a boy!” Howie and Brian looked at each other. The three didn’t know the sex of the babies beforehand, so they were stunned. 

“Baby C is a girl!” the three men beamed. They had one princess in the group. 

“Baby D is a boy!” Nick shook his head. The three men had three boys and a girl, all three of them were wrong. Nick had predicted four girls, Brian said two and two, and Howie thought it would be three girls and a boy. 

“Go check on them please” Nick looked up at his husbands, who kissed his forehead and nodded. They rose to check on their children. 

“How are they?” Brian asked a nurse, who was working on their oldest son. 

“Good. Baby B is a little small and Baby C is on a vent. The others are all on CPAP or room air. But we don’t foresee any issues. The fact that they all cried is a good sign” she stated. Brian and Howie took their time with each of their children, getting pictures. Seeing their daughter on a vent threw them, but they soldiered through. The four were soon sent to the NICU, and Brian and Howie went to Nick. 

“So who is the other dad?” Nick asked, as he was stitched up. The two older men looked at each other, and showed the pictures to Nick. He looked and smiled softly. 

“Looks like we are getting four blondies. I see no signs of Howie in them at all. I am so sorry Howie, if you want in a few years we can try for baby 5” Nick looked up at the older man. Howie shook his head. 

“It’s all good Nick. They are my sons and daughter, no matter that they are clones of you and Brian. If you want to try in a few years, we can, but it’s not necessary. All four of those babies are my children” Howie vehemently spoke and Nick nodded softly. 

The docs stitched Nick up, and sent him to recovery. The three men discussed names, and figured out who would have what name. They had decided on a theme, and it worked out for all four babies. 

“So we have Jason Matthew, Michael James, Mallory Jeanne, and Jeremy Marcus?” Nick asked, and Brian and Howie nodded. 

Six hours later, Nick was cleared to go visit his children for the first time. As Brian wheeled him to their oldest son, Nick put his hand on the isolette and a tear ran down his cheek. Jason was so small. He couldn’t believe that Michael was even smaller. 

“How big are they?” he asked the nearest nurse, who checked all four charts. 

“2lbs 10oz, 2lbs, 2lbs 6oz, and 2lbs 12oz” she stated, and Nick shook his head. 

“I should have kept them in more, they are too small” he wept, wiping the tears away. Brian and Howie both bent down next to the wheelchair, and looked at their husband. 

“Nick, Jason’s bags of water were bulging out of your cervix. There is no way they could have stayed in. The four of them were ready to be born. There is nothing you could have done to keep them in longer. You did everything you could, now it’s on the four of them, and the doctors and nurses” Howie softly said, rubbing Nick’s cheek softly. He nodded sadly, and pushed the wheelchair towards Michael. 

“Oh….” Nick shook his head, and looked at his middle son. Michael was on CPAP, and doing well. He was a feisty little thing, and the three men were able to touch him lightly for the first time. 

“Hey baby boy” Brian cooed, and Michael opened his eyes at his Papa’s voice. All three saw the murky blue of his eyes, and wiped a tear. 

“Come on, let’s see our princess” Howie wheeled Nick over to their daughter. Mallory was on a vent, but the nurse said she would probably come off of it in a day or two. The three men smiled softly seeing their daughter resting peacefully. She already had a bit of curl to her hair, and Brian groaned. 

“That will be hell to deal with in about 4 years” Howie and Nick chuckled ruefully, agreeing with their husband. 

The three men moved over to their youngest son. Jeremy was doing the best out of all of his siblings. He was on room air, and wide awake. Nick gingerly stood up, and the three men got to touch and talk to Jeremy. He moved his limbs and blew spit bubbles out of his mouth. Howie, Nick, and Brian chuckled softly. 

“I have a feeling he will be the ringleader of the four of them. He may be the youngest, but I think he will be the funny one” Howie rolled his eyes, and his blonde husbands grinned in agreement. 

“Hello Mr Carter’s” the three men turned at the voice behind them, and the neonatologist smiled at them. 

“I am Dr. Oberman and the head neonatologist here at the hospital. Can we go to the meeting room around the corner, and talk?” three nods answered him, and Brian wheeled Nick after he settled back down in the wheelchair. 

“The four babies are healthy as can be. Once your daughter gets off the vent, and the two oldest get off CPAP, it will just be getting them on bottles for all their feeds, and over 4lbs. Hopefully they will all be out by their due date, but it could be before or after that. White males tend to do the worst in the NICU, while white females tend to do the best. But that means nothing, and is only a generality, not the rule” Dr. Oberman started, before going into how each baby was doing individually. 

Nick, Brian, and Howie were completely overwhelmed, but knew that their babies were in the best hands possible. All three hoped that their children would come home in 10 weeks time, but could only pray that they would make the strides they needed to. 

“What are we going to do about work?” Brian asked a couple hours later as they settled back in Nick’s room. The three men had packets of information in front of them about the NICU, their children’s progress, and other things. 

“I know I’m out of work at least the next eight weeks. I am highly considering leaving my job completely to stay home with the babies” Nick started, and Brian and Howie looked at him. 

“Are you sure Nicky? We can get nannies to help us, and we can make it work. I know I have a decent chunk of vacation and personal time saved up” Howie put in, and Nick nodded. 

“Yes, I make the least out of the three of us, and with your trust funds from your grandfathers, and the smart investing Howie made, we will be okay. I think for at least the first year, I should stay home. We will still need at least one nanny with me, maybe two” Nick looked at the other blonde, and Brian was deep in thought. 

“I agree with Nick. He can stay home for the first year, and we will revisit after that. I also have a decent amount of time saved up as well. Do you want to take that together now while the babies are in the NICU? We are looking at at least 3 months in the hospital before they come home” Brian looked at Howie and then Nick. 

“I think we should save it for when they come home. We can drop Nick off here in the mornings, he can spend the day with the babies, and we will come after work. Saturdays and Sundays, the three of us can spend all day. Once Nick is cleared to drive, he can take his car back and forth as much as he wants” Howie offered, and both blondes nodded in agreement. 

The three went back to the NICU to visit their children, and get more updates. Nick would spend another two days in the hospital recovering, before getting released. It was a bittersweet moment for him to leave the hospital without his children. On the drive home, he wiped a few tears away, wanting to be with his babies. 

So began life for the Carter men. Each day they would spend hours with the babies, learning how to care for them, and watching as they each slowly grew. Jeremy was doing the best out of all of them, with Michael right behind him. Jason was not far behind, but Mallory was struggling. The three men were proud of their sons, but concerned about their daughter. 

“Nicky, what’s different about Mal?” Howie asked as he came in from scrubbing at the sink. He went over to his daughter, noticing something different. 

“She’s off oxygen today. And Michael took all his bottles overnight last night. Jason and Jeremy are not far behind him either. Jason finally hit four pounds this morning. Jeremy is an ounce away” Nick beamed, and Howie shed a tear at how well his children were doing. 

“How much longer did Dr. Oberman say?” It had been about 2 months since the babies were born, and it was getting closer and closer to their due date. 

“Michael should be home in a few days. As long as Jason and Jeremy continue on their path, they should be home in a week. Mallory is still unknown. She’s still struggling to eat by mouth, and the doctors aren’t sure why” Nick sighed, and went to his daughter, pulling her out of her isolette to hold her close. 

“The docs will figure it out love, do any of the boys need anything?” Howie looked at the open cribs his sons were in. Mallory was still in an isolette. 

“Jase needs his diaper changed, and Mikey needs a feed” Nick grinned as he watched Howie change Jason’s diaper, taking care to keep his little member covered at all times. They had gotten hit one too many times by their sons to keep it uncovered. 

“There we go buddy, all fresh and clean. Now I have to feed your brother” Howie cooed, and Jason smiled up at his Da before settling down in his crib. The nurses let the men take care of the boys mostly, while they did most of the care for Mallory still. 

Howie settled down in the rocking chair to feed Michael, talking softly to his son. He heard a cry, and smiled. “There goes your brother, I swear he can smell the formula” Howie knew that Jeremy would be next. He let Nick continue holding Mallory, knowing how special their daughter was to Nick. 

Five minutes later, Brian walked in from work, and smiled seeing his husbands holding their children. He moved over to Jeremy, and expertly prepared a bottle for his youngest, and settled down in the third rocking chair in the room. Nick still held Mal, and Howie held both Jason and Michael. The three men were completely content and happy. 

A few days later, Michael came home, and to the surprise of all three men, Jason joined his brother. Jeremy had had a desat, and was required to stay at least another 2 days. Mallory had finally gotten the hang of eating by mouth, and was now gulping bottles down. She had also moved to an open crib like her brothers had. Howie, Brian, and Nick couldn’t believe the turnaround their daughter had done. 

“I’m going to go see Jeremy and Mallory” Nick looked at his husbands two days after bringing home Michael and Jason. The three had kept up with their other two by phone, but hadn’t seen either child in a day and a half. 

“Go, Howie and I have the fort. Give them extra kisses for us” Brian nodded. 

Twenty minutes later, Nick was holding both children in his arms, sighing happily. He had given them extra kisses and loves from their Da and Papa. Nick looked up as Dr. Oberman came in. 

“Do you have the other two carseats Mr. Carter?” he asked, and Nick looked up in shock. 

“I do, what are you saying Dr. Oberman?” 

“As long as they both pass their car seat tests, both Jeremy and Mallory are going home today. They are both over five pounds, and eating all their bottles by mouth. Mallory has made leaps and bounds. It is just over 2 weeks after their due date, and they are both more than ready to go home” the head NICU doctor smiled warmly. Nick’s jaw dropped. 

“I’ll go get them, and call my husbands” he stuttered, and the doctor nodded. 

“Brian, get yourselves ready. As long as Mal and Jeremy pass their car seat tests, they are coming home today” Nick spoke five minutes later as he walked back in the hospital with the two car seats. 

“What?!” Brian exclaimed. 

“Yes, I’ll let you know. I’m about to go back into the NICU. Love you” Nick replied. 

“Love you” Brian said absently as he hung up, looking at Howie. 

“We might have our family home, our entire family of seven home today” Brian told his older husband, who immediately shed a tear. 

“Finally” Howie whispered as he pulled Brian close to him. 

Meanwhile, Nick and a nurse got the two babies into their car seats. Attaching the monitors, all Nick could do was wait an hour to see if either Jeremy or Mallory had a desat. He prayed heavily that both his son and daughter would pass, and Brian and Howie were doing the same thing. 

An hour later, with no desats from either baby, Nick burst into tears. Mallory and Jeremy were coming home, and they could finally put the hospital behind them. It took another two hours, but Nick was finally able to take the two home. 

“Bri and Howie, Jeremy, Mallory, and I are on our way home” Nick spoke into his phone as he looked in the rearview mirror at the two carseats. 

“Can’t wait to see you three. Be careful and we will see you in half an hour. Love you three” Howie spoke excitedly. Brian had Michael in his arms, while using his foot to move Jason’s bouncer up and down. 

Nick pulled up to their home to the most amazing sight. Brian had Jason in his arms, Howie had Michael in his. The two were grinning happily and Nick got out, pulling the two carseats out. He walked over to his husbands, and they all walked inside. 

“And then there were four” Nick looked at Brian and Howie. Their lives were now truly beginning. They had three amazing sons and a beautiful daughter to raise. The three men could not wait to truly begin this new stage in their lives as parents. It had been a long journey, but 11 months after that fateful pregnancy test, Nick, Howie, and Brian had everything they had ever wanted. 


	4. Reconnection

The door slammed, and Brian hungrily looked at his lover, Nick smirking widely. Brian grinned and slowly stripped his clothes off, Nick’s eyes roving up and down his body. Brian waited to take his boxers off till the end, his long cock springing out. Nick groaned and shivered as the older blonde growled. 

“Get your ass over here Carter before I pound that fine specimen” 

Nick quickly undressed as Brian watched, his own eyes roving. Once the younger man was undressed, Brian grabbed him, slamming him against the wall, pushing his own body up against Nick. 

“Been way too long Nicky, need to fill that ass once again” Brian barely whispered, feeling Nick shake from his tone. Fingers entered his hole, and Nick spread, allowing his older lover more access. 

“Please…” he moaned, as Brian’s fingers worked their magic. The older man pumped his cock a bit, using the pre to open Nick wider, and rubbed his cock in it. 

“What was that Nicky?”

Nick whimpered as Brian barely pushed his cock in his hole, before slamming all the way in, pinning the younger blonde to the wall. Nick groaned loudly as Brian started pushing in and out of him. 

“God I missed this. Damn fucking breaks” Brian growled as he squeezed Nick’s hips, getting leverage to fuck him harder. 

“So worth it for this though” Nick panted out, his own cock squished against the wall, filling up. 

Brian smirked hearing the moans and whines coming from the younger man, his movements never stopping. He grunted and smirked, reaching up to whisper again in Nick’s ear. 

“Close babe” he barely whispered, and Nick nearly came at the tone. 

“Brian…” Nick whined, and the older man kissed his neck, nibbling his ear. 

“NICK!” Brian cried out as he filled his lover once again, his hips never stopping. 

All that was heard was heavy breathing as Brian came down from his high. Nick’s own cock was achingly hard, and he whimpered as Brian pulled out. The older man smiled, and turned Nick around. He knelt down, and licked the tip of Nick’s cock. 

“Fuck!” Nick swore, as he felt the sensations running through his sensitive cock. He braced against the wall, looking down at the curly hair of his lover. Brian looked up, and took one of Nick’s balls in his mouth, letting it sit there, before sucking lightly on it. 

“Goddamnit Littrell, you are a fucking tease” Nick grunted as he put his hands in Brian’s curls, threading his hair through his fingers. Brian went to the other ball, sucking lightly before popping off, and going back to Nick’s cock. 

“Come on love” Nick pled, and the older man took pity on his lover, going down on his cock. Nick panted softly as Brian licked and sucked, going further down. 

“Good boy” Brian smiled, and deepthroated Nick’s cock, loosening his throat muscles. He loved his lover’s cock, Nick was the perfect balance of length and thickness. Brian was slightly thick, but nothing Nick couldn’t handle. 

Brian sucked happily, loving the heaviness in his throat. Nick loved when his lover deepthroated him, and watched as Brian pulled up, going back to sucking normally. Nick whimpered, tightening his hold, but not hurting Brian. 

“Close babe” Nick panted, and Brian nodded. He sucked harder and faster, wanting to taste Nick once again. Nick held on as long as he could, but soon cried out Brian’s name as he let go into the older man’s mouth. 

Brian swallowed eagerly, milking Nick’s cock. Once he had gotten the last dribble, he pulled off, and looked up at Nick. The younger man released his hold on Brian’s curls, and smiled. 

“Come here love” Nick pulled Brian up, and they walked towards the couch, Brian settling down in Nick’s arms. 

The two snuggled close, basking in the afterglow of their hot and heavy love making. Normally they went slow and loving, but it had just been too long. They needed to feel each other once again. One look at Brian promised more later, but Nick was content to hold his love close, relishing this time together, knowing they had a week together to reconnect. 


	5. Coffee Shop Surprise

The coffee shop was quiet, and a young man dipped into the shop to get some time away from everything. After ordering a large latte and a couple of scones, he dropped into a seat, and pulled his laptop out. Howie had some work he had to do, but didn’t want to stay at home to do it. As he took a sip of his latte, Howie scrolled through the emails that he had been sent since last night. 

“They want us to what?” he groaned to himself as he answered an email. Howie shook his head and shot a text to the other boys to alert them. He knew he was the earliest riser of the five of them. 

“Howie…..Howie Dorough?” a voice spoke, and Howie looked up, his eyes widening in shock. 

“Grace Rivers?” he replied, and the young woman nodded, wheeling up to his table and parking her wheelchair in front of him. She smiled and reached over, hugging him. Howie responded almost on instinct, hugging her back. 

“How are things? I heard you made it big, just like I always knew you would” Grace wheeled backwards a bit to sit across from him, an open spot available. 

“Yes I am part of the Backstreet Boys” Howie smiled, and Grace chuckled softly. 

“I know that dummy. You always said you wanted to sing, god I remember our battles in Chorus over who sang better” Howie blushed and shook his head. 

“Yes, and I usually won them as you remember” he kidded, and Grace mock glared at him. 

“So what have you been up to?” he asked, and Grace smiled softly. 

“After graduation I went to college, graduated with a degree in finance, and then things went to hell. The week after graduation, I was in a rock climbing accident. It shattered a couple vertebrae, and I have been in this wheelchair since. It’s been about five years now” Grace patted the arm of her chair. 

“Wow Grace, I am so sorry to hear that” Howie shook his head. He and Grace had been childhood friends, and went all through school together. After high school, they had gone to different colleges, Howie had joined the Boys, and they lost contact. 

“It’s okay, I have learned to live with it. Nowadays I live on my own mostly, and I have a job at a local firm doing their financials part time. I even have my own home that is all accessible for me, and drive as well” Grace grinned, and Howie sat back in shock. 

“I am so damn proud of you Gracie, that’s amazing!” 

“Howard! Must you use that infernal nickname?!” Grace blushed and glared at her childhood friend. Howie grinned, shutting his laptop. 

“Of course, I know exactly what it does to you” he smirked, and Grace swatted at him. 

“So how long are you here for? And what made you move out to LA?” 

“I went to college at UCLA as you know, and I had my accident here. It just made sense for me to stay here, but go to the suburbs, out of the bustle of the city. I have a meeting with some big bosses in an hour, so I just came here to grab some coffee before heading out” Grace looked at her watch. 

“You have to go?” Howie asked, and Grace nodded. She pulled out a cell phone, unlocked it, and slid it across the table to Howie. 

“Put your number in, and we can catch up soon. Miss seeing your face” Howie grinned and put his number in, texting himself so he had Grace’s. He stood up and bent down, hugging her and kissing her cheek. 

“So good to see you Grace, I’ll call you soon. Maybe have drinks and dinner while I’m still home” Howie suggested, and Grace smiled. 

“That works, catch you later Howie” she turned and wheeled out of the coffee shop, and Howie pulled his laptop back open. The smile never left his face as he worked a couple of hours more before heading out to rehearsal. 

“D, what’s with the cheesy ass grin?” AJ looked at his best friend, the two getting a moment to gulp some water down. Howie wiped his mouth and shrugged. 

“Had a good morning, caught up with an old friend” he smiled, and AJ punched his shoulder. 

“Good shit man, so happy to hear that. Anything else happen?” he wagged his eyebrows and Howie rolled his eyes. 

“No you perv, we talked for a few minutes before she had to go. I’ll call her in a couple days” Howie winced as Nick jumped on his back, and the cousins wandered over. 

“She? Anyone I know?” Nick asked, and Howie rubbed his temple. 

“She’s a childhood friend” he said shortly, and walked off. He hated the 50 questions he always got from the guys and assumptions they made. Howie turned as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up into the green eyes of Kevin, who was smiling softly. 

“Don’t worry about them Howie. I’m glad you reconnected with a friend. Hope you can see her more often” Kevin spoke, and Howie smiled. 

“Thanks man, appreciate that” Kevin nodded and patted him on the back before moving away. A few minutes later, rehearsal resumed and Howie put his all into it, like he did every single time. 

“You gonna call her?” AJ asked as they were getting their stuff together to leave. 

“Alexander…” Howie looked up warningly, and AJ backed off. He knew not to push Howie to his limits. He had done that once, and never wanted to see that again. 

“Sorry, I’ll leave it alone. Want to grab dinner?” he asked, and Howie shook his head. 

“Already have plans to grab a meal with Brian. Hopefully next week man” AJ nodded and headed off. Howie finished up, and waited for the younger man. 

“Leighanne and Baylee okay?” he asked, as Brian put his phone in his pocket. 

“Yep, just fine. Where do you want to go?” 

“Doesn’t matter to me, I’m just hungry” Howie grinned, and Brian rolled his eyes. 

“You’re always hungry and willing to eat just about anything” Howie’s grin reached his eyes and Brian shook his head in amusement. 

Twenty minutes later, they were sitting in a booth at a local dive they both enjoyed. After ordering, Brian looked at Howie, who was staring wistfully out the window. 

“Earth to Howie, what’s going on man?” Howie shook his head and gazed at Brian. 

“Just thinking about my friend. We met in chorus in middle school, and clicked right away. Went to high school together, and then went to separate colleges and lost touch. I was really shocked to see her today” Howie didn’t want to talk about the other stuff he and Grace had spoken about. 

“She sounds cool. I’m glad you got back in touch with her” Brian smiled, and Howie nodded. He moved the topic away to other things, and the two brothers enjoyed a nice meal together, happy to spend time together. 

After saying goodbye to Brian, Howie made his way home, and face planted into bed. It was now approaching 10pm and it had been a grueling day of rehearsals. The group only had a couple of weeks before heading out on tour, and Howie knew that it would just get worse. His muscles were on fire, and all he wanted was sleep. A ding from his phone had him digging it out of his shorts. 

“So good to see you today. Let me know when we can catch up” he read, and a deep smile graced his face seeing it was from Grace. He thought for a moment, and his fingers flew over the keyboard. 

“You too Grace, how about Saturday? I have to be somewhere at 4, but I’m free before that” 

“That works. I’ll text you tomorrow to further plan it out. Goodnight Howie” Grace typed back a few minutes later. 

“Goodnight Grace” Howie smiled as he put his phone down, getting under the covers. It had been an amazing day, and he couldn’t wait to catch up with Grace on Saturday. 

Howie muttered a few choice words as he stood in front of the museum that he and Grace had agreed to meet at. The weather gods decided to screw him, and a freak rain storm had him nearly soaked. The museum wasn’t open yet, so he couldn’t seek shelter. He muttered another curse as Grace wheeled up, a poncho over her wheelchair. She had parked her car a block away in an open space she had found. 

“You look like a drowned rat” she commented, and Howie glared at her through his wet hair. 

“Thanks a lot for that. Stupid rain storm” he grunted, and nearly yelped in happiness as the doors opened. Making sure Grace got in, he followed her, shaking the rain off like a wet dog. Grace giggled, lowering the hood of her poncho. Howie stared, as if he was really seeing his best childhood friend for the first time. 

“What?” Grace asked, seeing his look. Howie shook his head and smiled. Grace rolled her blue-green eyes, her red hair in a plait down her back. Howie paid for the two of them, and Grace rolled her chair to the first exhibit. The two spent the next 90 minutes exploring every inch of the museum. 

As they left the museum, the LA sun bearing down on them, Howie looked at his watch. It was just after 1pm, so he had a couple more hours to spend with Grace before he had to head off for rehearsals. The two headed to a sandwich place for lunch nearby. Howie had suggested this museum because it was close to his house, the rehearsal space, and food. 

So….any girlfriends these days?” Grace asked as they started eating. Howie narrowed his eyes and shook his head. 

“Nope, just lovesick fangirls at concerts” he replied, taking a bite of his sandwich. Grace giggled softly, the images in her head giving her an idea of what Howie was saying. 

“Same, on either end of the spectrum. All the guys just want me in their pants, wanting to know what its like to have sex with a cripple. The girls want me as their emotional support person. I haven’t been on a date worth anything since before the accident” Grace spoke, and Howie’s eyes narrowed again. 

“You’ll find someone, someone that’s worth it, that sees you for you are, and doesn’t want any of that crap” Howie reassured her, and Grace shrugged. 

“Maybe. I’m pretty okay with being alone right now. Makes it easier in some ways” 

Howie sighed softly, but nodded. The two continued eating, catching up on each other’s lives. Grace had kept up with the Boys, and was so happy to see her childhood friend doing what he loved. Howie looked at his friend, making a snap decision. 

“Want to get a sneak peek of the choreo for my new tour, and meet my brothers?” he asked, looking at his watch before peering at Grace. 

She blinked, not having expected that. “Sure, if it’s okay for me to hang out while you guys do your thing?” 

“Yeah, the guys have their girls with them all the time, it will just be a surprise for me to do the same. You sure you don’t have anything going on tonight?” Howie double checked. 

“I’m free as a bird, my work is all caught up, and I don’t have to be back at the office till Tuesday” Grace confirmed. 

“Cool, it’ll be nice to have you with us. It’s not far from here actually. We can walk, well ride, over there” Howie chuckled as Grace rolled her eyes. 

“Real original Howard” Grace snorted. 

“Love you Gracie!” he chortled, and Grace smacked his bicep. 

“Can it! Come on, I don’t want you to be late, it’s already after three. Let’s get going” Grace hailed their waitress, and they settled the bill. 

Twenty minutes later, they had coffees in hand, and were relaxing in the rehearsal space, waiting for Nick, Brian, AJ, and Kevin to show up. Grace had popped her wheelchair back against the wall, sipping on her coffee, while Howie sat next to her on the floor, laying against the wall. 

“How bad is this rehearsal gonna be?” Grace asked. 

“Intense, we leave in less than 2 weeks for Europe. It’s probably gonna be a good four hours. You can leave whenever, I don’t expect you to stay for the whole thing” Howie reassured her, and Grace nodded. 

Fifteen minutes later, Nick, Brian, and AJ all made their way into the rehearsal space. As per usual, Kevin was running behind. The three stopped short at the view of Howie and a girl in a wheelchair speaking animatedly. 

“Umm...D?” AJ spoke as the three made their way over to the two of them. 

“Yes AJ?” Howie innocently asked. 

“Who is she?” 

“A dear friend” Howie replied, and AJ rolled his eyes. 

“Okay….why is she here?” Brian cut in. 

“I invited her, you four do it all the time. I wanted her to be here” 

Kevin burst in at that point, and immediately saw the situation. He walked over, smiling, and stuck his hand out to Grace. Kevin had an idea of who this was. 

“Hi, Kevin Richardson, good to meet you” he warmly spoke, and Grace smiled, taking his hand after righting her wheelchair. 

“Grace Rivers, happy to meet you as well Kevin” she grinned. Howie stood up and slapped Kevin on the back, before looking at the other three. He could see the mischievous look on Grace’s face, and knew she was going to have a smart aleck remark. 

“And you are? Howie, do these three have names or do you just call them eeny and meeny and miny?” Grace’’s eyes lit up in amusement, and Howie and Kevin howled out their laughter. The other three pouted softly. 

“Nick Carter...Brian Littrell….Alexander McLean, but we call him AJ” Howie wheezed out, pointing the three out as he named them. He was still giggling with Kevin. 

“Pleasure” Grace sniffed, and cracked a smile at the three. 

The ice was broken, and Nick, Howie, and AJ all properly introduced themselves to Grace. A few minutes later, the choreographers came in, and the five men got down to business. Grace watched intently as the five went through another grueling rehearsal. She hadn’t even realized that four hours had gone by. 

“So what do you think?” Howie asked as he toweled his face and head down, he was pouring in sweat. Grace got a thoughtful look on her face, and the other four gathered around her as well. 

“Really good, and you have a good range of your music. One thought, I know you guys shy away from doing music from the two albums without Kevin. I think that maybe doing one surprise song in the middle of the set would reinvigorate the fans, and surprise a lot of people. I suggest  _ If I Knew Then _ . That would be the best song to do that can seamlessly integrate Kevin’s voice onto it. But your dancing and choreo is spot on, it’s what I remember seeing from your older concerts” Grace suggested. 

The five guys looked at each other, all with thoughtful looks on their faces. Grace was right, they did shy away from the music without Kevin in it, usually completely ignoring the two albums. Maybe doing as she said would be a nice segway to the ending part of their set. 

“AJ, play  _ If I Knew Then _ ” Kevin asked, and the younger man obliged. Nick grabbed his notebook and marked who sang when, and the five put their heads together, to see how much of the song to do, and how to get Kevin involved. 

Grace watched them with a smile on her face. “Guys, what do you want to eat? I’ll go and grab it while you work this out” she offered. 

“Nah, we are going to finish this tomorrow, we have a rough idea on how to go about it. Thank you so much Grace” Brian reached over and hugged the older woman. Kevin, AJ, and Nick did the same thing, as Howie watched happily. 

“Grace and I were in chorus together as kids and teens, so I know she has the ear for all of this. Want to do one of our duets Gracie?” Howie looked over and saw Grace with a raised eyebrow. 

She shrugged. “Sure Howard...my voice isn’t what it used to be, but we can go” Howie leaned over and whispered a song in her ears. Grace smirked and nodded. The two proceeded to sing  _ Just Give Me A Reason  _ by Pink and Nate Ruess. Kevin, Nick, Brian, and AJ were floored by Grace’s voice. 

“That was amazing! Bravo!” Nick clapped, and the others joined in. Howie and Grace grinned at each other, and Grace grimaced, rubbing her leg. 

“What’s wrong?” Howie asked, concern all over his face. 

“Spastic muscles. Occasionally they will spasm, and I can’t control it. I need to get home and lay in bed, and take meds. I’m sorry guys, but I gotta go” Grace spoke after easing the spasm. 

“It’s all good, you stuck around for five hours, you need your rest” AJ shook his head, and they all gathered their things to head out. 

“Do you need any help?” the guys asked hesitantly. 

“No, I just need to get back to my car, and head home. Hopefully the spasms will stay away until I can get there. Luckily it’s only a ten minute drive” Grace replied. 

“We’ll walk with you to your car. Where is it?” Brian asked. 

“Three blocks away. I know Howie lives close by, and can walk home. I’d offer to drive him, but I live in the opposite direction, and need to get home” Grace looked apologetically at Howie. 

“Nah, AJ usually drives me home when we are this late anyway. It’s all good Grace. Come on, let’s get you to your car” the five men stayed close to Grace as they made their way to her car. Five minutes later, Grace was rolling into her custom made van, and locked her wheelchair into the driver’s side. 

“Sick ride!” Nick exclaimed, loving how it was all outfitted for Grace and her wheelchair. 

“Thanks Nick, it gets the job done, and I am so lucky to have it. So glad I got to meet you all, and Howie, you can tell them what happened to cause the wheelchair. I trust the four of them that they won’t pity me or spread it around” Grace looked at her childhood friend, and Howie nodded sharply. 

“Text me when you are home please” he asked, and Grace nodded. The five backed away, and Grace drove away. 

“So what happened?” Kevin inquired. Howie smiled slightly as the five of them made their way back to the rehearsal building, all of them having their own cars there. 

“Apparently a week after her college graduation she had a rock climbing accident and ended up paralyzed from the waist down. She had gone to UCLA out here and stayed here after the accident. Now she has a part time job, and her own house outfitted for her needs” Howie explained. 

“Damn…” AJ shook his head. 

“She gets around real well” Nick commented.

“It’s been about five years since the accident. Please don’t say anything to anyone about her. And guys, we are just friends. I have no romantic interest in her, I just want to renew our friendship, and keep it that way” Howie looked imploringly at Nick and AJ. The two nodded. 

“Of course, we would never say something like that. We will tone down our teasing, well when it comes to Grace at least” Nick grinned, and Howie rolled his eyes. 

“Naturally. Okay, I need food and sleep. I’ll see you all on Monday. Come on AJ” Howie looked at his best friend, and all five said their goodbyes. AJ got Howie home less than ten minutes later, and had a text waiting for him on his phone. 

“I’m home and in bed. Thanks for today, I had a lot of fun! Hope we can do it again after you get back from Europe!” he read, and he sighed softly. He had forgotten he would be leaving in ten days. 

“Glad to hear it, and you bet we will. I’ll try and text you every so often when I’m over there. Let me know what souvenirs you want, and I’ll grab them” he shot back, and set his phone down. Going to get food down his throat, Howie ate quickly. He decided to shower before crawling into bed, and as he got settled, his phone went off again. 

“You’ll have a list tomorrow :D. Goodnight Howie” 

“Night Grace” 

Howie set his phone down and smiled. He never could have expected to find an old friend in a coffee shop. Now Grace was back in his life, and Howie was never happier than he was now. He was going back to Europe to see the group’s overseas fans, they had an amazing setlist and show planned, and he had a friend waiting for him when he got back. As Howie closed his eyes, he thanked God once again for all the blessings in his life. 


	6. Glimpse Into A Bleak Future

The waves crashed against the jetty and the sand as the sun just barely rose above the skyline. Salty air whipped around in the early morning hours. The only sound that was heard was the seagulls starting their morning squawks. Breaking the relative silence, a car pulled into a spot near the beginning of the sand, and the lone occupant got out of their car. 

“Perfect” he murmured as he made his way into the sand. The sky was a yellowy-orange as the sun continued rising bit by bit. It was the perfect June early morning, and Brian wanted to take advantage of it. 

Walking parallel to the shore line, Brian crossed over, and made his way down to the water. Just barely letting his toes hit the cool, salty sand, he sat down, and pulled his legs up, wrapping his arms around them, looking out into the ocean waves. 

“Can’t believe it’s been so long” he thought, the memories starting to flood him. He put his head down, and the tears started filling his eyes. Sniffling, Brian just thought of the first time he met Leighanne, the first time they kissed. 

“That fire is something I’ll never get back” he muttered, as his thoughts drifted even more. The first date, the first time he told her he loved her, introducing her to his parents. It all seemed like a million years ago now. 

Lifting his head, Brian watched the waves crashing around him, not even caring if they took him with them. It had been more than three years since Leighanne had passed, and Brian was a shell of a man. He had pushed everyone away, letting the grief overwhelm him. 

“Brian…” the blonde lifted his head at the mere whisper. Looking up, he saw a ghost floating towards him. Swiping the tears from his eyes, he rubbed them gently. 

“Who’re you?” he choked out, before clearing his throat. 

“Anna, my name is Anna. I want to show you something, before you go through with your plan” she softly said, and Brian looked at her suspiciously.

“How do you know my plan?” he exclaimed. 

“You plan to take extra of the anti anxiety meds your doctor gave you, and then kill yourself by filling your car and garage with carbon monoxide” Anna gently spoke, and Brian blinked in shock. 

“How…?” 

“I’ve been watching you. I am the angel assigned to watch over you from the time you were a newborn. I have come to try and stop you. It’s not your time to die. You have so much more life to live” Anna explained, and Brian suddenly looked up at her in anger. 

“Why did Leighanne have to die? Why couldn’t it have been me? You’re telling me it was her time to die?” Brian spat, venom in his voice. 

“Unfortunately yes it was Brian. There was nothing I could have done, she was not my charge, you are. I had hoped you would be clinging to your family, and able to move forward, but all you have done is slide backwards. Brian, can I please try and show you something?” Anna knew that Brian would need a significant blow to change his plans, and she knew what to show him. 

“What could you possibly have to show me?” he scoffed. 

“The consequences of your actions” she simply replied. 

“Yeah right, everyone is just fine without me, I haven’t heard from them in months” Brian shook his head. 

“Because you drove them away, you didn’t want help, you basically told them to get lost and ignore you. Do you want to see what has happened to each of your brothers and your cousin? You haven’t spoken to them in over eighteen months now” 

Anna didn’t give Brian a chance to think, and grabbed his arm. The two disappeared from the beach, as if they were never there to begin with. A moment later, Brian and Anna were in Florida, in front of Howie’s home. 

“Okay, it seems like all is normal” Brian glared at Anna for bringing him here. 

“Keep hold of my arm, and we will stay invisible. I am going to show you what would happen if Howie got the call of your death” Anna pulled Brian into the home, and they settled in Howie’s office. 

“Howie, your phone is going off!” Leigh called, and the two watched the older man race to his phone. Seeing it was Kevin, Howie picked it up happily. 

“Hey Kev, what’s going on?” he jovially spoke, his mood crashing a moment later. 

“What?!” he spoke haltingly, shaking his head. 

“He can’t be dead, he just can’t be” Howie wailed as Leigh came running in the room, their two boys not a moment after their mother. 

Brian and Anna watched as Howie let the phone drop from his ear, and he looked at Leigh, before bursting into tears, James and Holden running to their father, hugging him tightly. His wife looked at him in horror, as Howie gulped in a breath. 

“Brian’s gone…” he gasped out, and he looked at Leigh, mouthing the word suicide to her so the boys didn’t hear. James and Holden burst into tears along with Leigh, and the family came together, crying for the loss of their uncle and brother. 

“Do you really want to put your older brother through that?” Anna looked at Brian as he watched Howie fall apart. Brian tore his eyes away from the scene and peered at Anna. 

“He will be fine, he has the boys and Leigh, along with the rest of the guys. He’ll be sad, but he will bounce back” Brian stubbornly spoke. Anna shook her head, and the two moved away from the scene. A moment later, the two were at a graveyard. 

“Why’d you have to do it Frick? Why?” Nick stared at the gravestone, his fingers tracing the letters of Brian’s name. It was a year and a half that he was gone, and Nick couldn’t handle the loss of his best friend, his Frick. Lauren stood back, her hands holding Odin and Saoirse’s hands, her face a mask. 

Brian looked uncomfortable seeing his own gravestone, as he watched Nick brush a stray leaf off of it. Anna knew this would strike a chord in Brian, and hopefully be the last thing she needed to show him. 

“Come here Odin, tell Uncle Brian what you’ve been up to” Nick turned and Odin let go of his mom’s hand, walking over to his dad. He knelt down and laid into Nick’s side as he talked to Brian. Nick rubbed his son’s hair as he spoke, and after Odin went quiet, he turned to his daughter. 

“Saoirse, do you want to talk to Uncle Brian?” he softly asked, and Saoirse shook her head, turning into her mom’s leg. Lauren pulled her daughter up, the two wiping tears from their eyes. They did this every other month, Nick couldn’t go longer without talking to Brian. 

Odin went back to Lauren, and Nick continued softly speaking to Brian. He was in intense therapy to try and cope with this loss. It was something that Lauren insisted on six months after Brian’s death. 

Anna looked at Brian as he watched Nick with his eyes. He shook his head, trying to remain steadfast in his plan to go forward. Anna could see the crumbling start though. 

“Still want to do this?” she sighed and shook her head. They moved away, Brian finally tearing his eyes away from Nick, and a moment later, the two were in a basement. Brian’s eyes shot open as he recognized where they were. 

“Why is it so dark in here?” he whispered. 

“You’ll see, come with me” Anna replied, and Brian reluctantly followed her. 

The two walked across the room to see AJ, sitting in front of a TV, bottles around him. Brian looked on disbelievingly as he watched AJ drink out of a liter bottle of whiskey. 

“How long has he been doing this?” Brian looked at Anna worryingly. 

“It’s been about three months since he found out about your death,” Anna revealed. Brian shook his head, and his eyes widened even more. 

“What about Rochelle and the girls?” he asked in horror. 

“About a month ago, AJ slapped Rochelle in a drunken stupor, and Rochelle fled the home with the girls, and now they live with her brother and his family. She filed for divorce, which hasn’t helped AJ at all” Anna sighed. 

“How much longer will AJ survive if he goes on like this?” Brian barely got out, watching AJ take another deep swig of whiskey. 

“Less than a year, that’s all I will say” Anna cagedly replied, and Brian shook his head, tears coming to his eyes. 

“What about Kevin? My cousin?” Brian looked up at Anna, wanting to get out of here. He hadn’t realized what his death would do to his brothers. But now he wanted to see Kevin. 

“Come on” Anna twisted, and the two were back at the graveyard. 

“Really?” Brian looked over at Anna, who just nodded toward Brian’s gravesite. The blonde looked and saw Kevin standing at the site, just looking at the gravestone, talking softly to it. The two walked nearer, and Brian started catching the words that Kevin was saying. 

“...I should have done more. I should have come over instead of believing that you were okay. God I miss you so much. I should have done so much more. I could have asked you to move in with Kris and I. I….there’s so much I could have done” Kevin hung his head, rubbing his eyes. 

“Why is he blaming himself?” Brian looked at Anna. 

“He’s the oldest, he thinks he should have seen the signs, should have known that you were going to kill yourself anyway. He was the one who got the call since you have him as your emergency contact. He was the one who had to identify your body” Anna told Brian, who looked back at her in horror. 

“Kev..he....how long has it been?” Brian asked hoarsely. 

“This is the furthest we’ve gone. It’s your five year anniversary of being dead. Kevin still beats himself up to this day. But he only does it when he visits you. Kris got him into therapy as well, but this is one part that he’s never let go of. He can’t stop reliving the day he got the call whenever he visits your grave” Anna honestly replied. 

“What…?” Brian felt like someone had suckerpunched him. 

The two watched as Kevin fell to his knees, sobs racking his body. Brian wanted nothing more than to hold Kevin tightly, telling him he was right there, but he knew he couldn’t. The blonde looked at the ghost with pain-filled eyes. 

“Can...can we leave?” he asked hauntingly, and Anna nodded. A twist, and the two were back at the beach, in present day. Brian looked back out at the ocean, and it was just barely sunrise. He looked at Anna. 

“So, are you going to continue on this path?” she simply asked, and Brian shook his head. 

“No, I’m going to survive. I am going to fight for myself, and try to climb out of this hole” Brian swore, and Anna nodded. 

“Good. I have a present for you. I am going to give you the chance to say your proper goodbye to Leighanne. But this will be the last time you will see her until you are supposed to die. You have five minutes” Anna snapped her fingers, and Leighanne floated down in front of Brian. 

“Lei…” he rasped out, tears coming. 

“Brian Thomas. I need you to continue living on. I love you through heaven and hell, but it’s not your time love. Move forward, be with your brothers, sisters, nieces, and nephews. Find love again. Please, you’ve seen the future for Howie, Kevin, Nick, and AJ. I don’t want that to happen to my family” Leighanne looked at her love earnestly. 

“Leighanne, I love you and miss you so much. I want to be with you so badly, but I know it’s not my time now. I don’t want to put my family through that heartache. I will survive, and wait for my proper time to go. I promise, I will not do anything to knowingly endanger my life” Brian spoke through his tears. He knew he couldn’t hug or kiss Leighanne, but getting this goodbye would be enough. 

“Think of me fondly love, and I will watch over you along with Anna. Thank you for loving me. Brian, it was my time to go. Nothing either of us could have done would have prevented it. I will see you again” Leighanne started fading a bit, and Brian drew in a breath. 

“Goodbye my love, I’ll see you again” he closed his eyes, and when he opened them, it was just Anna in front of him. 

“Thank you so much” he breathed out, and Anna nodded. 

“I am going to go now. I want you to call your brothers today, and start the process of reconnecting with your family. I will continue to watch out over you, and I hope I don’t have to do this again” she looked at him, and Brian nodded frantically. 

“I swear you won’t” 

Anna nodded, and with a click of her fingers she disappeared. Brian blinked and shook his head softly. He got up and walked back to his car. He drove away from the beach, the crashing waves, as the sun made its way completely above the skyline. The blonde had a new perspective on life, and vowed to fix what was broken. He also made a silent vow to move forward, knowing that Leighanne would be waiting for him to cross over, when the time was right. 


End file.
